Some Things Training Has Taught Me

My ma says that if you stop learning, your brain starts to die.  I used to think she just said that so I would work harder in math, but I'm starting to get it.  Not the math; don't be crazy!  I never got the math...you're hilarious.  No, you gotta keep being teachable about life, things you're interested in, people, your family, yourself, etc.  Training has taught me some stuff.  Check it.

1)  America is fat because working out hurts.  It sucks, like, a lot.  Aw man.  I've been sore for months!  It's dirty, sweaty and it takes time.  America only wants what it can have in the time it takes to microwave a burrito.  They want it quick, painless and free.  It's just easier and less painful to be fat.  There you go.

2)  Just because you can tell I've been working out, doesn't mean I can.  I don't feel like I look any different at all.  I don't feel leaner.  Just sore.  I'm sure it's mental like so many of my problems, but hey, thanks for noticin'.

3)  When you say "I'm training for a half marathon."  People then fall into two camps.  One camp is called Camp YouDoneLostYourMind and the other is Camp WayToGoYou.  Campers at Camp YouDoneLostYourMind enjoy activities like questioning your sanity, asking if you really think you can do this and why would anyone in the history of ever want to do such a thing anyway?  Campers at Camp WayToGoYou can be found to be encouraging in many ways, asking how to get started on such an adventure themselves and being really proud of the good thing you are doing for your body.  There really is no middle ground.  I have always been a well-if-that's-what-you-want-do kind of girl.  I might be the only one.  Whatever.

4)  I am willing to kick a dog that is running up to me as I walk on a PUBLIC WALKWAY right in the face.  I haven't yet.  I was shocked to learn that I sure as heck will though!  I really didn't think that would come up, but it has as I am in the sticks and people don't think much of leashes.  So if your dog goes all Cujo on me, I will kick that joker until it stops moving.  I'm just saying.

5)  I will be screaming loudly like a little baby girl as your dog runs up on me and while I'm kicking it.  Thus, you have been alerted.

6)  Walking out aggression really does help keep the kids alive.  All those health experts were right.  Well, about this.  I'm still not sold on the no carb thing.  No bread?  Thanks, I'll just stay fat, but you're awesome.  Some prices are just too darn high.

There you go there you have it.  What has working out taught you?